Enter CELIA and ROSALIND
CELIA and ROSALIND enter.
CELIA
I pray thee, Rosalind, sweet my coz, be merry.
I pray thee, Rosalind, sweet my coz, be merry.
CELIA
Please, Rosalind, my sweet cousin—be happy.
Please, Rosalind, my sweet cousin—be happy.
ROSALIND
Dear Celia, I show more mirth than I am mistress of, and would you yet
I were merrier? Unless you could teach me to forget a banished father,
you must not learn me how to remember any extraordinary pleasure.
Dear Celia, I show more mirth than I am mistress of, and would you yet
I were merrier? Unless you could teach me to forget a banished father,
you must not learn me how to remember any extraordinary pleasure.
ROSALIND
Dear Celia—I already look much happier than I feel, but you want me to
look even happier? Unless you can also teach me how to forget my
banished father, you shouldn’t try to teach me how to be happy.
Dear Celia—I already look much happier than I feel, but you want me to
look even happier? Unless you can also teach me how to forget my
banished father, you shouldn’t try to teach me how to be happy.
CELIA
Herein I see thou lov’st me not with the full weight that I love thee.
If my uncle, thy banished father, had banished thy uncle, the duke my
father, so thou hadst been still with me, I could have taught my love
to take thy father for mine. So wouldst thou, if the truth of thy love
to me were so righteously tempered as mine is to thee.
Herein I see thou lov’st me not with the full weight that I love thee.
If my uncle, thy banished father, had banished thy uncle, the duke my
father, so thou hadst been still with me, I could have taught my love
to take thy father for mine. So wouldst thou, if the truth of thy love
to me were so righteously tempered as mine is to thee.
CELIA
Well, by this I can see that you don’t love me as much as I love you.
If your father had banished my father, I could have learned to love
your father as my own, as long as I still had you. You’d do the same,
if your love for me were as true as mine for you.
Well, by this I can see that you don’t love me as much as I love you.
If your father had banished my father, I could have learned to love
your father as my own, as long as I still had you. You’d do the same,
if your love for me were as true as mine for you.
ROSALIND
Well, I will forget the condition of my estate to rejoice in yours.
Well, I will forget the condition of my estate to rejoice in yours.
ROSALIND
Well, I’ll just forget the difficulties of my situation, in order to
focus on the happiness of yours.
Well, I’ll just forget the difficulties of my situation, in order to
focus on the happiness of yours.
CELIA
You know my father hath no child but I, nor none is like to have, and,
truly, when he dies, thou shalt be his heir, for what he hath taken
away from thy father perforce, I will render thee again in affection.
By mine honor I will, and when I break that oath, let me turn monster.
Therefore, my sweet Rose, my dear Rose, be merry.
You know my father hath no child but I, nor none is like to have, and,
truly, when he dies, thou shalt be his heir, for what he hath taken
away from thy father perforce, I will render thee again in affection.
By mine honor I will, and when I break that oath, let me turn monster.
Therefore, my sweet Rose, my dear Rose, be merry.
CELIA
You know I’m my father’s only child, and he isn’t likely to have
another. And when he dies, you will inherit his fortune—because
whatever he took from your father by force, I will return to you as
affection. I swear I will, and if I ever break my promise let me turn
into a monster. So please, my sweet Rose, my dear Rose, be happy.
You know I’m my father’s only child, and he isn’t likely to have
another. And when he dies, you will inherit his fortune—because
whatever he took from your father by force, I will return to you as
affection. I swear I will, and if I ever break my promise let me turn
into a monster. So please, my sweet Rose, my dear Rose, be happy.
ROSALIND
From henceforth I will, coz, and devise sports. Let me see—what think
you of falling in love?
From henceforth I will, coz, and devise sports. Let me see—what think
you of falling in love?
ROSALIND
From now on I will, cousin, and I’ll think of all kinds of games for
us. Let me see—what do you think about falling in love?
From now on I will, cousin, and I’ll think of all kinds of games for
us. Let me see—what do you think about falling in love?
CELIA
Marry, I prithee do, to make sport withal, but love no man in good
earnest, nor no further in sport neither than with safety of a pure
blush thou mayst in honor come off again.
Marry, I prithee do, to make sport withal, but love no man in good
earnest, nor no further in sport neither than with safety of a pure
blush thou mayst in honor come off again.
CELIA
Yes, please do, so we can have a good laugh about it. But don’t fall
in love for real, and don’t take the game too far. You want to get out
of it easily, and with your honor intact.
Yes, please do, so we can have a good laugh about it. But don’t fall
in love for real, and don’t take the game too far. You want to get out
of it easily, and with your honor intact.
ROSALIND
What shall be our sport, then?
What shall be our sport, then?
ROSALIND
Well, then, what should we do for fun instead?
Well, then, what should we do for fun instead?
CELIA
Let us sit and mock the good housewife Fortune from her wheel, that
her gifts may henceforth be bestowed equally.
Let us sit and mock the good housewife Fortune from her wheel, that
her gifts may henceforth be bestowed equally.
CELIA
Let’s go find that hussy, Fortune, and and mock her till she starts
distributing her gifts more equally.
Let’s go find that hussy, Fortune, and and mock her till she starts
distributing her gifts more equally.
ROSALIND
I would we could do so, for her benefits are mightily misplaced, and
the bountiful blind woman doth most mistake in her gifts to women.
I would we could do so, for her benefits are mightily misplaced, and
the bountiful blind woman doth most mistake in her gifts to women.
ROSALIND
I wish we could do that, because Fortune gives all of her gifts to the
wrong people, and she especially gets things wrong where women are
concerned.
I wish we could do that, because Fortune gives all of her gifts to the
wrong people, and she especially gets things wrong where women are
concerned.
CELIA
'Tis true, for those that she makes fair she scarce makes honest, and
those that she makes honest she makes very ill- favoredly.
'Tis true, for those that she makes fair she scarce makes honest, and
those that she makes honest she makes very ill- favoredly.
CELIA
It’s true: the women she makes beautiful she also makes slutty, and
the women she makes pure and virginal she also makes ugly.
It’s true: the women she makes beautiful she also makes slutty, and
the women she makes pure and virginal she also makes ugly.
ROSALIND
Nay, now thou goest from Fortune’s office to Nature’s.
Fortune reigns in gifts of the world, not in the lineaments of
Nature.
Nay, now thou goest from Fortune’s office to Nature’s.
Fortune reigns in gifts of the world, not in the lineaments of
Nature.
ROSALIND
No, you’re getting Fortune and Nature mixed up: Nature determines how
we’re made, and Fortune decides what happens to us.
No, you’re getting Fortune and Nature mixed up: Nature determines how
we’re made, and Fortune decides what happens to us.
Enter TOUCHSTONE
TOUCHSTONE enters.
CELIA
No? When Nature hath made a fair creature, may she not by Fortune fall
into the fire? Though Nature hath given us wit to flout at Fortune,
hath not Fortune sent in this fool to cut off the argument?
No? When Nature hath made a fair creature, may she not by Fortune fall
into the fire? Though Nature hath given us wit to flout at Fortune,
hath not Fortune sent in this fool to cut off the argument?
CELIA
Oh, really? Well, when Nature makes a person beautiful, can’t Fortune
make her fall into a fire, thereby making her ugly after all? And even
though Nature has given us the wit to have this argument, hasn’t
Fortune sent this fool here to stop us?
Oh, really? Well, when Nature makes a person beautiful, can’t Fortune
make her fall into a fire, thereby making her ugly after all? And even
though Nature has given us the wit to have this argument, hasn’t
Fortune sent this fool here to stop us?
ROSALIND
Indeed, there is Fortune too hard for Nature, when Fortune makes
Nature’s natural the cutter-off of Nature’s wit.
Indeed, there is Fortune too hard for Nature, when Fortune makes
Nature’s natural the cutter-off of Nature’s wit.
ROSALIND
Yes, and now Fortune is playing a nasty trick on Nature: she’s
breaking up a show of wit between two naturally witty women with the
arrival of a natural fool.
Yes, and now Fortune is playing a nasty trick on Nature: she’s
breaking up a show of wit between two naturally witty women with the
arrival of a natural fool.
CELIA
Peradventure this is not Fortune’s work neither, but Nature’s, who
perceiveth our natural wits too dull to reason of such goddesses, and
hath sent this natural for our whetstone, for always the dullness of
the fool is the whetstone of the wits. How now, wit, whither wander
you?
Peradventure this is not Fortune’s work neither, but Nature’s, who
perceiveth our natural wits too dull to reason of such goddesses, and
hath sent this natural for our whetstone, for always the dullness of
the fool is the whetstone of the wits. How now, wit, whither wander
you?
CELIA
Well, maybe this is Nature’s work after all. Maybe Nature sensed that
we’re not smart enough to be having this high-flown discussion about
goddesses, so she sent us this fool to use as a mental whetstone.
After all, smart peoples' wits are always sharpened by the presence of
a fool. What’s up, you wit? Where are you wandering off to?
Well, maybe this is Nature’s work after all. Maybe Nature sensed that
we’re not smart enough to be having this high-flown discussion about
goddesses, so she sent us this fool to use as a mental whetstone.
After all, smart peoples' wits are always sharpened by the presence of
a fool. What’s up, you wit? Where are you wandering off to?
TOUCHSTONE
Mistress, you must come away to your father.
Mistress, you must come away to your father.
TOUCHSTONE
Mistress, you have to go see your father.
Mistress, you have to go see your father.
CELIA
Were you made the messenger?
Were you made the messenger?
CELIA
Did they make you the messenger?
Did they make you the messenger?
TOUCHSTONE
No, by mine honor, but I was bid to come for you.
No, by mine honor, but I was bid to come for you.
TOUCHSTONE
No, by my honor, but they told me to come get you.
No, by my honor, but they told me to come get you.
ROSALIND
Where learned you that oath, fool?
Where learned you that oath, fool?
ROSALIND
Where’d you learn a phrase like, “by my honor,” fool?
Where’d you learn a phrase like, “by my honor,” fool?
TOUCHSTONE
Of a certain knight that swore by his honor they were good pancakes,
and swore by his honor the mustard was naught. Now, I’ll stand to it,
the pancakes were naught and the mustard was good, and yet was not the
knight forsworn.
Of a certain knight that swore by his honor they were good pancakes,
and swore by his honor the mustard was naught. Now, I’ll stand to it,
the pancakes were naught and the mustard was good, and yet was not the
knight forsworn.
TOUCHSTONE
From a certain knight who swore on his honor that the pancakes he was
eating were good, and that the mustard on top of them—he swore on his
honor—was bad. Now, I’ll swear to the opposite—that the pancakes were
rotten, and the mustard was fine—but even so, the knight wasn’t lying.
From a certain knight who swore on his honor that the pancakes he was
eating were good, and that the mustard on top of them—he swore on his
honor—was bad. Now, I’ll swear to the opposite—that the pancakes were
rotten, and the mustard was fine—but even so, the knight wasn’t lying.
CELIA
How prove you that in the great heap of your knowledge?
How prove you that in the great heap of your knowledge?
CELIA
And how, out of your great heap of knowledge, will you manage to prove
that?
And how, out of your great heap of knowledge, will you manage to prove
that?
ROSALIND
Ay, marry, now unmuzzle your wisdom.
Ay, marry, now unmuzzle your wisdom.
ROSALIND
Yes, please; unleash your wisdom.
Yes, please; unleash your wisdom.
TOUCHSTONE
Stand you both forth now: stroke your chins and swear by your beards
that I am a knave.
Stand you both forth now: stroke your chins and swear by your beards
that I am a knave.
TOUCHSTONE
Watch me: stroke your chins and swear by your beards that I am a
knave.
Watch me: stroke your chins and swear by your beards that I am a
knave.
CELIA
By our beards (if we had them), thou art.
By our beards (if we had them), thou art.
CELIA
By our beards (if we had them), you are a knave.
By our beards (if we had them), you are a knave.
TOUCHSTONE
By my knavery (if I had it), then I were. But if you swear by that
that is not, you are not forsworn. No more was this knight swearing by
his honor, for he never had any; or if he had, he had sworn it away
before ever he saw those pancakes or that mustard.
By my knavery (if I had it), then I were. But if you swear by that
that is not, you are not forsworn. No more was this knight swearing by
his honor, for he never had any; or if he had, he had sworn it away
before ever he saw those pancakes or that mustard.
TOUCHSTONE
And I swear by my wickedness (if I had any) that I am a knave. But you
can’t swear by what you don’t have—and this knight had no honor, or if
he did, he swore it off before he ever saw those pancakes and that
mustard.
And I swear by my wickedness (if I had any) that I am a knave. But you
can’t swear by what you don’t have—and this knight had no honor, or if
he did, he swore it off before he ever saw those pancakes and that
mustard.
CELIA
Prithee, who is ’t that thou mean’st?
Prithee, who is ’t that thou mean’st?
CELIA
Tell me, who is this knight?
Tell me, who is this knight?
TOUCHSTONE
One that old Frederick, your father, loves.
One that old Frederick, your father, loves.
TOUCHSTONE
A man old Frederick, your father, loves.
A man old Frederick, your father, loves.
CELIA
My father’s love is enough to honor him. Enough. Speak no more of him;
you’ll be whipped for taxation one of these days.
My father’s love is enough to honor him. Enough. Speak no more of him;
you’ll be whipped for taxation one of these days.
CELIA
If he has my father’s love, then that’s enough honor for me. Enough of
this. No more talk about my father; you’ll be whipped for slander one
of these days.
If he has my father’s love, then that’s enough honor for me. Enough of
this. No more talk about my father; you’ll be whipped for slander one
of these days.
TOUCHSTONE
The more pity that fools may not speak wisely what wise men do
foolishly.
The more pity that fools may not speak wisely what wise men do
foolishly.
TOUCHSTONE
It’s a pity that fools aren’t allowed to speak wisely about the
foolish things that wise men do.
It’s a pity that fools aren’t allowed to speak wisely about the
foolish things that wise men do.
CELIA
By my troth, thou sayest true. For, since the little wit that fools
have was silenced, the little foolery that wise men have makes a great
show. Here comes Monsieur Le Beau.
By my troth, thou sayest true. For, since the little wit that fools
have was silenced, the little foolery that wise men have makes a great
show. Here comes Monsieur Le Beau.
CELIA
Honestly, you’re speaking the truth—ever since the fools were
silenced, the foolishness of wise men has become all the more
apparent. Here comes Monsieur Le Beau.
Honestly, you’re speaking the truth—ever since the fools were
silenced, the foolishness of wise men has become all the more
apparent. Here comes Monsieur Le Beau.
Enter LE BEAU
LE BEAU enters.
ROSALIND
With his mouth full of news.
With his mouth full of news.
ROSALIND
With his mouth full of news.
With his mouth full of news.
CELIA
Which he will put on us as pigeons feed their young.
Which he will put on us as pigeons feed their young.
CELIA
Which he’ll shove down our throats the way pigeons feed their young.
Which he’ll shove down our throats the way pigeons feed their young.
ROSALIND
Then shall we be news-crammed.
Then shall we be news-crammed.
ROSALIND
Then we’ll be stuffed with news.
Then we’ll be stuffed with news.
CELIA
All the better. We shall be the more marketable.—Bonjour,
Monsieur Le Beau. What’s the news?
All the better. We shall be the more marketable.—Bonjour,
Monsieur Le Beau. What’s the news?
CELIA
Well that’s good. If we’re fattened up, we’ll be worth more.
Hello, Monsieur Le Beau. What’s the news?
Well that’s good. If we’re fattened up, we’ll be worth more.
Hello, Monsieur Le Beau. What’s the news?
LE BEAU
Fair princess, you have lost much good sport.
Fair princess, you have lost much good sport.
LE BEAU
Fair princess, you’ve missed some good sport.
Fair princess, you’ve missed some good sport.
CELIA
Sport? Of what color?
Sport? Of what color?
CELIA
Sport? Of what color?
Sport? Of what color?
LE BEAU
What color, madam? How shall I answer you?
What color, madam? How shall I answer you?
LE BEAU
What color, madam? I don’t understand—how should I answer that?
What color, madam? I don’t understand—how should I answer that?
ROSALIND
As wit and fortune will.
As wit and fortune will.
ROSALIND
However your wit and luck allow.
However your wit and luck allow.
TOUCHSTONE
Or as the Destinies decrees.
Or as the Destinies decrees.
TOUCHSTONE
Or however the Destinies say you should.
Or however the Destinies say you should.
CELIA
Well said. That was laid on with a trowel.
Well said. That was laid on with a trowel.
CELIA
Nicely done; you laid that on thick.
Nicely done; you laid that on thick.
TOUCHSTONE
Nay, if I keep not my rank—
Nay, if I keep not my rank—
TOUCHSTONE
Well, if I don’t keep up my rank—
Well, if I don’t keep up my rank—
ROSALIND
Thou losest thy old smell.
Thou losest thy old smell.
ROSALIND
—you’ll lose your smell.
—you’ll lose your smell.
LE BEAU
You amaze me, ladies. I would have told you of good wrestling, which
you have lost the sight of.
You amaze me, ladies. I would have told you of good wrestling, which
you have lost the sight of.
LE BEAU
You’re confusing me, ladies. I was going to tell you all about a good
wrestling match that’s going on, which you’re missing.
You’re confusing me, ladies. I was going to tell you all about a good
wrestling match that’s going on, which you’re missing.
ROSALIND
You tell us the manner of the wrestling.
You tell us the manner of the wrestling.
ROSALIND
Tell us about this wrestling.
Tell us about this wrestling.
LE BEAU
I will tell you the beginning, and if it please your Ladyships, you
may see the end, for the best is yet to do, and here, where you are,
they are coming to perform it.
I will tell you the beginning, and if it please your Ladyships, you
may see the end, for the best is yet to do, and here, where you are,
they are coming to perform it.
LE BEAU
I’ll tell you about the beginning, and if you find that interesting
you can see the end. The best is yet to come, and they’re going to
perform it right here.
I’ll tell you about the beginning, and if you find that interesting
you can see the end. The best is yet to come, and they’re going to
perform it right here.
CELIA
Well, the beginning that is dead and buried.
Well, the beginning that is dead and buried.
CELIA
Well, we’ve missed the beginning; it’s dead and buried.
Well, we’ve missed the beginning; it’s dead and buried.
LE BEAU
There comes an old man and his three sons—
There comes an old man and his three sons—
LE BEAU
There comes an old man with his three sons—
There comes an old man with his three sons—
CELIA
I could match this beginning with an old tale.
I could match this beginning with an old tale.
CELIA
It sounds like the beginning of an old folktale.
It sounds like the beginning of an old folktale.
LE BEAU
Three proper young men of excellent growth and presence.
Three proper young men of excellent growth and presence.
LE BEAU
Three proper young men, all good looking and with great presence—
Three proper young men, all good looking and with great presence—
ROSALIND
With bills on their necks: “Be it known unto all men by these
presents.”
With bills on their necks: “Be it known unto all men by these
presents.”
ROSALIND
Right, and they wore proclamations around their necks, saying, “Be it
known to all men by these presents—”
Right, and they wore proclamations around their necks, saying, “Be it
known to all men by these presents—”
LE BEAU
The eldest of the three wrestled with Charles, the duke’s wrestler,
which Charles in a moment threw him and broke three of his ribs, that
there is little hope of life in him. So he served the second, and so
the third. Yonder they lie, the poor old man their father making such
pitiful dole over them that all the beholders take his part with
weeping.
The eldest of the three wrestled with Charles, the duke’s wrestler,
which Charles in a moment threw him and broke three of his ribs, that
there is little hope of life in him. So he served the second, and so
the third. Yonder they lie, the poor old man their father making such
pitiful dole over them that all the beholders take his part with
weeping.
LE BEAU
The eldest of the three brothers wrestled with Charles, the duke’s
wrestler. Immediately, Charles threw the brother, breaking three of
his ribs; it’s not likely he will survive. Charles did the same to the
second brother, and the third. They’re lying over there, and the poor
old man, their father, weeps so piteously over them that the whole
audience has joined him in grieving.
The eldest of the three brothers wrestled with Charles, the duke’s
wrestler. Immediately, Charles threw the brother, breaking three of
his ribs; it’s not likely he will survive. Charles did the same to the
second brother, and the third. They’re lying over there, and the poor
old man, their father, weeps so piteously over them that the whole
audience has joined him in grieving.
ROSALIND
Alas!
Alas!
ROSALIND
Oh, dear!
Oh, dear!
TOUCHSTONE
But what is the sport, monsieur, that the ladies have lost?
But what is the sport, monsieur, that the ladies have lost?
TOUCHSTONE
But tell me, monsieur—what sport are the ladies missing?
But tell me, monsieur—what sport are the ladies missing?
LE BEAU
Why, this that I speak of.
Why, this that I speak of.
LE BEAU
Why, the one I just told you about.
Why, the one I just told you about.
TOUCHSTONE
Thus men may grow wiser every day. It is the first time that ever I
heard breaking of ribs was sport for ladies.
Thus men may grow wiser every day. It is the first time that ever I
heard breaking of ribs was sport for ladies.
TOUCHSTONE
Men must be getting wiser every day; that’s the first time I’ve heard
that rib-breaking was appropriate entertainment for ladies.
Men must be getting wiser every day; that’s the first time I’ve heard
that rib-breaking was appropriate entertainment for ladies.
CELIA
Or I, I promise thee.
Or I, I promise thee.
CELIA
Me too, I swear.
Me too, I swear.
ROSALIND
But is there any else longs to see this broken music in his sides? Is
there yet another dotes upon rib-breaking? Shall we see this
wrestling, cousin?
But is there any else longs to see this broken music in his sides? Is
there yet another dotes upon rib-breaking? Shall we see this
wrestling, cousin?
ROSALIND
Doesn’t anyone else want to see this, and hear breath wheezing out
from broken ribs? Does anyone else love rib breaking? Shall we go
watch this wrestling, cousin?
Doesn’t anyone else want to see this, and hear breath wheezing out
from broken ribs? Does anyone else love rib breaking? Shall we go
watch this wrestling, cousin?
LE BEAU
You must if you stay here, for here is the place appointed for the
wrestling, and they are ready to perform it.
You must if you stay here, for here is the place appointed for the
wrestling, and they are ready to perform it.
LE BEAU
You’re going to have to, if you stay here. This is the place they’re
scheduled to wrestle, and they’re ready to go.
You’re going to have to, if you stay here. This is the place they’re
scheduled to wrestle, and they’re ready to go.
CELIA
Yonder sure they are coming. Let us now stay and see it.
Yonder sure they are coming. Let us now stay and see it.
CELIA
Yes, I see them coming. Let’s stay and watch.
Yes, I see them coming. Let’s stay and watch.
Flourish. Enter DUKE FREDERICK, lords, ORLANDO, CHARLES, and
attendants
attendants
Trumpets play. DUKE FREDERICK, lords, ORLANDO, CHARLES, and attendants
enter.
enter.
DUKE FREDERICK
Come on. Since the youth will not be entreated, his own peril on his
forwardness.
Come on. Since the youth will not be entreated, his own peril on his
forwardness.
DUKE FREDERICK
Come on. Since the youth won’t be reasoned with, he’ll have to suffer
for his stubbornness.
Come on. Since the youth won’t be reasoned with, he’ll have to suffer
for his stubbornness.
ROSALIND
Is yonder the man?
Is yonder the man?
ROSALIND
Is that the man?
Is that the man?
LE BEAU
Even he, madam.
Even he, madam.
LE BEAU
That’s him, madam.
That’s him, madam.
CELIA
Alas, he is too young. Yet he looks successfully.
Alas, he is too young. Yet he looks successfully.
CELIA
Alas, he is too young. Yet he seems capable.
Alas, he is too young. Yet he seems capable.
DUKE FREDERICK
How now, daughter and cousin? Are you crept hither to see the
wrestling?
How now, daughter and cousin? Are you crept hither to see the
wrestling?
DUKE FREDERICK
What’s up, daughter and niece? Have you snuck over here to watch the
wrestling?
What’s up, daughter and niece? Have you snuck over here to watch the
wrestling?
ROSALIND
Ay, my liege, so please you give us leave.
Ay, my liege, so please you give us leave.
ROSALIND
Yes, my lord, if you give us permission.
Yes, my lord, if you give us permission.
DUKE FREDERICK
You will take little delight in it, I can tell you, there is such odds
in the man. In pity of the challenger’s youth, I would fain dissuade
him, but he will not be entreated. Speak to him, ladies; see if you
can move him.
You will take little delight in it, I can tell you, there is such odds
in the man. In pity of the challenger’s youth, I would fain dissuade
him, but he will not be entreated. Speak to him, ladies; see if you
can move him.
DUKE FREDERICK
You won’t enjoy it much, I can tell you, the odds are so against this
young man. Because he’s so young, I’ve tried to discourage him, but he
won’t listen. Talk to him, ladies. See if you can persuade him.
You won’t enjoy it much, I can tell you, the odds are so against this
young man. Because he’s so young, I’ve tried to discourage him, but he
won’t listen. Talk to him, ladies. See if you can persuade him.
CELIA
Call him hither, good Monsieur Le Beau.
Call him hither, good Monsieur Le Beau.
CELIA
Call him over here, good Monsieur Le Beau.
Call him over here, good Monsieur Le Beau.
DUKE FREDERICK
Do so. I’ll not be by.
Do so. I’ll not be by.
DUKE FREDERICK
Go ahead. I’ll make myself scarce.
He steps aside.
Go ahead. I’ll make myself scarce.
He steps aside.
He steps aside.
LE BEAUMonsieur the challenger, the Princess calls for you.
LE BEAU
Mister Challenger, the princess wants to speak to you.
ORLANDO
I attend them with all respect and duty.
ORLANDO
I’ll wait on them with all respect and duty.
ROSALIND
Young man, have you challenged Charles the wrestler?
ROSALIND
Young man, have you challenged Charles the Wrestler?
ORLANDO
No, fair princess. He is the general challenger. I come but in as
others do, to try with him the strength of my youth.
ORLANDO
No, lovely princess. He is the general challenger. I have only come in—
like the others have—to try to fight him with the strength of my
youth.
CELIA
Young gentleman, your spirits are too bold for your years. You have
seen cruel proof of this man’s strength. If you saw yourself with your
eyes or knew yourself with your judgment, the fear of your adventure
would counsel you to a more equal enterprise. We pray you for your own
sake to embrace your own safety and give over this attempt.
CELIA
Young gentleman, you are too bold for your age. You have seen the
cruel proof of this man’s strength. If you took a good look at
yourself, or if you thought about this more carefully, your fear would
teach you to act more cautiously. We beg you, for your own sake, to
respect your safety and give up.
ROSALIND
Do, young sir. Your reputation shall not therefore be misprized. We
will make it our suit to the duke that the wrestling might not go
forward.
ROSALIND
Please, young sir. We’ll make sure your reputation isn’t hurt; we’ll
take it upon ourselves to argue with the duke that the wrestling match
should be called off.
ORLANDO
I beseech you, punish me not with your hard thoughts, wherein I
confess me much guilty to deny so fair and excellent ladies anything.
But let your fair eyes and gentle wishes go with me to my trial,
wherein, if I be foiled, there is but one shamed that was never
gracious; if killed, but one dead that was willing to be so. I shall
do my friends no wrong, for I have none to lament me; the world no
injury, for in it I have nothing. Only in the world I fill up a place
which may be better supplied when I have made it empty.
ORLANDO
I beg you not to think poorly of me—though I suppose anyone who could
deny anything to such beautiful women deserves to be scorned. But
please, send me good thoughts in this match. If I’m beaten, the shame
is all mine, and I wasn’t in anyone’s good graces to begin with. If
I’m killed, it will only be the death of a man who was willing to be
dead. I won’t wrong any of my friends, because I don’t have any to
mourn for me, and I won’t have wronged the world, because I don’t have
anything in the world. In this world, I’m only taking up space. If I
leave, maybe someone more worthy will fill it.
ROSALIND
The little strength that I have, I would it were with you.
ROSALIND
I wish I could give you the little strength that I have.
CELIA
And mine, to eke out hers.
CELIA
Mine too, to join hers.
ROSALIND
Fare you well. Pray heaven I be deceived in you.
ROSALIND
Good luck. I hope to God I’m wrong about your chances.
CELIA
Your heart’s desires be with you.
CELIA
I hope you get what you desire!
CHARLES
Come, where is this young gallant that is so desirous to lie with his
mother earth?
CHARLES
Come on, where’s the young show-off who’s so eager to lie with mother
earth?
ORLANDO
Ready, sir; but his will hath in it a more modest working.
ORLANDO
Ready, sir, but I have more modest ambitions.
DUKE FREDERICK
You shall try but one fall.
DUKE FREDERICK
You get only one round.
CHARLES
No, I warrant your Grace you shall not entreat him to a second, that
have so mightily persuaded him from a first.
CHARLES
No, I’m sure your Grace won’t be able to persuade him to try a second
round, even though you couldn’t dissuade him from trying the first.
ORLANDO
You mean to mock me after, you should not have mocked me before. But
come your ways.
ORLANDO
You should mock me after you’ve beaten me, not before. Come on.
ROSALIND
Now Hercules be thy speed, young man!
ROSALIND
Hercules give you speed, young man!
CELIA
I would I were invisible, to catch the strong fellow by the leg.
CELIA
I wish I were invisible, so I could grab that strong fellow by the
leg.
They wrestle
They wrestle.
ROSALIND
O excellent young man!
ROSALIND
Oh, what an excellent young man!
CELIA
If I had a thunderbolt in mine eye, I can tell who should down.
CELIA
If I could shoot lightning bolts from my eyes, I can tell you who’d be
on the ground.
CHARLES is thrown Shout
ORLANDO throws Charles. The crowd shouts.
DUKE FREDERICK
No more, no more.
DUKE FREDERICK
No more, no more.
ORLANDO
Yes, I beseech your Grace. I am not yet well breathed.
ORLANDO
Oh, come on, your Grace—I’m barely out of breath.
DUKE FREDERICK
How dost thou, Charles?
DUKE FREDERICK
How are you doing, Charles?
LE BEAU
He cannot speak, my lord.
LE BEAU
He can’t speak, my lord.
DUKE FREDERICK
Bear him away. What is thy name, young man?
DUKE FREDERICK
Carry him away. What is your name, young man?
ORLANDO
Orlando, my liege, the youngest son of Sir Rowland de
Boys.
ORLANDO
Orlando, my lord, the youngest son of Sir Rowland de Boys.
DUKE FREDERICK
I would thou hadst been son to some man else.
The world esteemed thy father honorable,
But I did find him still mine enemy.
Thou shouldst have better pleased me with this deed
Hadst thou descended from another house.
But fare thee well. Thou art a gallant youth.
I would thou hadst told me of another father.
DUKE FREDERICK
I wish you were someone else’s son. The whole world thought your
father was an honorable man, but he was always my enemy. Your victory
would have pleased me more if you’d been someone else’s son. But good
luck; you are a brave young man. I wish you had told me you had a
different father.
Exeunt DUKE FREDERICK, train, and LE BEAU
DUKE FREDERICK, his train, and LE BEAU exit.
CELIA
Were I my father, coz, would I do this?
CELIA
If I were my father, cousin, would I do this?
ORLANDO
I am more proud to be Sir Rowland’s son,
His youngest son, and would not change that calling
To be adopted heir to Frederick.
ORLANDO
I’m proud to be Sir Rowland’s son—his youngest son—and I would never
change that, not even to be Frederick’s adopted heir.
ROSALIND
My father loved Sir Rowland as his soul,
And all the world was of my father’s mind.
Had I before known this young man his son,
I should have given him tears unto entreaties
Ere he should thus have ventured.
ROSALIND
My father loved Sir Rowland as much as he loved his own soul, and the
rest of the world shared my father’s opinion. If I had known this
young man was his son, I would have tried harder to convince him not
to fight.
CELIA
Gentle cousin,
Let us go thank him and encourage him.
My father’s rough and envious disposition
Sticks me at heart.—Sir, you have well deserved.
If you do keep your promises in love
But justly, as you have exceeded all promise,
Your mistress shall be happy.
CELIA
Gentle cousin, let’s go thank him and encourage him. My my father’s
rude and envious behavior is like a knife through my heart. (to
ORLANDO) Sir, you fought very well. If you live up to your potential
in love as well, your wife will be a very happy woman.
ROSALIND
Gentleman,
(giving him a chain from her neck)
Wear this for me—one out of suits with fortune
That could give more but that her hand lacks means.
—Shall we go, coz?
ROSALIND
(giving him a chain from her neck) Gentleman, wear this for me. I’m a
woman who’s down on her luck, and I’d give more if I could. Shall we
go, cousin?
CELIA
Ay.—Fare you well, fair gentleman.
CELIA
Yes. Good luck, fair gentleman.
ORLANDO
Can I not say “I thank you”? My better parts
Are all thrown down, and that which here stands up
Is but a quintain, a mere lifeless block.
ORLANDO
(to himself) Can’t I even say “thank you”? I left my brain back on the
wrestling field. What’s left of me is a dummy, just a lifeless block.
ROSALIND
He calls us back. My pride fell with my fortunes.
I’ll ask him what he would.—Did you call, sir?
Sir, you have wrestled well and overthrown
More than your enemies.
ROSALIND
He’s calling us back. My pride fell when my fortunes did; I’ll ask him
what he wants.—Did you call us, sir? Sir, you wrestled well and
conquered more than just your enemies.
CELIA
Will you go, coz?
CELIA
Will you come on, cousin?
ROSALIND
Have with you. Fare you well.
ROSALIND
I’m coming. Farewell.
Exeunt ROSALIND and CELIA
ROSALIND and CELIA exit.
ORLANDO
What passion hangs these weights upon my tongue?
I cannot speak to her, yet she urged conference.
O poor Orlando! Thou art overthrown.
Or Charles or something weaker masters thee.
ORLANDO
What is this passion that ties up my tongue? I can’t speak to her,
even though she asked me to. Oh, poor Orlando, you’ve been overthrown!
Either Charles or some prettier thing has mastered you.
Enter LE BEAU
LE BEAU enters.
LE BEAU
Good sir, I do in friendship counsel you
To leave this place. Albeit you have deserved
High commendation, true applause, and love,
Yet such is now the duke’s condition
That he misconsters all that you have done.
The duke is humorous. What he is indeed
More suits you to conceive than I to speak of.
LE BEAU
Good sir, as a friend, I advise you to leave this place. Although you
deserve praise, applause, and love, right now the duke misconstrues
everything you’ve done. The duke is temperamental. I’m sure you can
imagine what I mean without my having to spell it out.
ORLANDO
I thank you, sir, and pray you tell me this:
Which of the two was daughter of the duke
That here was at the wrestling?
ORLANDO
Thank you, sir. Now please tell me this: which of the two ladies who
were at the wrestling match is the duke’s daughter?
LE BEAU
Neither his daughter, if we judge by manners,
But yet indeed the smaller is his daughter
The other is daughter to the banished duke,
And here detained by her usurping uncle
To keep his daughter company, whose loves
Are dearer than the natural bond of sisters.
But I can tell you that of late this duke
Hath ta'en displeasure 'gainst his gentle niece,
Grounded upon no other argument
But that the people praise her for her virtues
And pity her for her good father’s sake;
And, on my life, his malice 'gainst the lady
Will suddenly break forth. Sir, fare you well.
Hereafter, in a better world than this,
I shall desire more love and knowledge of you.
LE BEAU
Neither one is his daughter, to judge from their good manners. But
really, the smaller one is his daughter. The other is the daughter of
the banished duke. Duke Frederick keeps her for his daughter’s sake;
the love between the two of them is stronger than the bond between
sisters. But I will tell you that lately the duke has been displeased
with his niece, and for no other reason than that people praise her
virtues and pity her for her father’s sake. I swear, one day the
duke’s malice toward Rosalind will suddenly erupt. Goodbye, sir.
Later, in a better world than this, I’d love to get to know you.
ORLANDO
I rest much bounden to you. Fare you well.
ORLANDO
I’m indebted to you. Goodbye.
Exit LE BEAU
LE BEAU exits.
Thus must I from the smoke into the smother,
From tyrant duke unto a tyrant brother.
But heavenly Rosalind!
Out of the frying pan and into the fire—from a tyrant duke to a tyrant
brother! But, oh, heavenly
Rosalind!
Exit
He exits.
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